Three Life Skills for Every Girl

Self-defense is a life skill necessary for every girl. The Great Flip was developed to give girls a positive experience learning self-defense. And so far, no one is doing online self-defense video training specifically for girls. However, what you will find if you search the internet for “Women’s Self Defense” is a lot of home-made videos filled with the violent tactics and methods from Krav Maga-style training. In these videos, ladies are instructed to beat, kick and scratch and man dressed in the big marshmallow suit.  Don’t get me wrong, when a woman is attacked, she will need to exert every ounce of herself to escape and save her life. And even some good weapon training! I’m not opposed at all to Krav Maga, but a girl should understand three life skills before she steps onto any martial arts mat and onto the streets.

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I know I can’t possibly foresee every situation a girl might encounter, but it is my hope to train girls at a younger age to preempt dangerous situations. In my family, we suddenly realized we needed to give our daughters self-defense skills but they were already high school. The girls liked learning the skills and understood the value, but training in a co-ed environment was extremely uncomfortable for them. They had to overcome three fear-factors which I cover in another blog. Click here to read.

I like to refer to self-defense as a “life skill.” In this blog I want to share three life-skills that are foundational to self-defense: Assert. Assess. Act.

Applying these three words to a girl’s self-defense game will prepare her to be confident, aware, and sharp decision-makers.

Assert.

An assertive girl is not an aggressive girl. Did you get that? Assertive is not aggressive. Bullies are aggressive. Don’t be a bully. An assertive girl creates healthy boundaries. An assertive girl uses her voice. Her voice is her first line of self-defense. Without any physical altercation, her voice can begin to create boundaries. Her voice can most often deescalate a hyped-up person. When a bully or dangerous person appears threatening, a girls first response should be to use her voice and say NO or STOP.  An assertive girl can stay calm and be courageous while communicating her wishes. If her voice does not compel the person to respect her boundaries, then she can increase the sound of her voice. She can gain attention from others with her voice. Practice the CALL progression: (Calm voice. Assertive voice. Loud. Louder voice.).

An assertive girl practices strong body language. She stands tall and looks confident. Even if she feels small, scared or insecure, she can appear tall and strong with body language that says, “I’m assertive.” Remember the movie “We bought a Zoo”? I’ll always remember the line about courage.

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it” – the character Benjamin Bee played by Matt Damon.

Now, the reference was about the kind of bravery required to create a positive relationship, but I have applied it many times with my daughters to push through times when they might be scared or insecure. I believe anyone can be brave for 20 seconds in any situation.

Bullies prey on people who appear weak.

Twenty seconds of assertive courage can save a life.

Stand in front of a mirror. Adjust your posture. Stand up tall with your shoulders back yet relaxed. Smile. You are beautifully and wonderfully made! Assert your beauty to the world. It’s contagious!

Assess.

Girls …  (and parents for that matter) put your phone down and lift your eyes up.

Seriously, look up. There’s a big brave world out there, don’t miss it. Be a role model to your children and restrict phone usage, especially in public places, walking to the car, etc. Girls need to learn to asses

s her surroundings. She should begin to assess the behavior of others around her. A great exercise in assessment is “people watching.” Find a café, restaurant or public space and simply watch people. Notice behavior and discuss with your daughter the different behaviors you observe. My husband and I were “people watching,” at an amusement park. Actually, we were watching the teenage boys watch the teenage girls. We had our daughters observe too. They got to see, first hand, how goofy the guys can be when the situation is playful and safe. But they also learned how to read a person’s intentions and behavior just by watching.

Girls who learn to assess a situation and “people watch” starting on the school playground will prepare them for bigger situations. Our girls will be wise and ready to address dark parking lots, spring break parties and traveling abroad.

Act.

When a girl is assertive and has assessed her surroundings, she can act appropriately and make smart decisions. Most of the time, her strong voice and confident body language is all she needs to defend herself. Adding self-defense to these life skills gives her the added ability to take action!

Online Self-Defense from The Great Flip

The Great Flip Self Defense – Assert + Assess + Action from The Great Flip on Vimeo.

The Great Flip Self Defense Videos

The first 10 videos in The Great Flip training series are meant to introduce girls to self-defense using the martial art called Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Your girl will learn how to fall if she is pushed (and not break her wrists or elbows). She will learn how to escape a choke, how to stand up safely, how to escape a bear hug from behind. Here’s the list of five stand-up techniques and five techniques from the ground: The Break Fall, The Technical Lift, The Break Fall + Technical Lift Drill, Wrist Escape, Choke Escape, The Hip Escape, The Bridge, Ground Protection Drill, Hip Bump + Arm Lock Drill and The Mount Escape.

And I post new videos each month for subscribers! These videos add variations and challenges to the first 10 videos.

Click 2 Ways to Join to get started!

What self-defense moves would you like your daughter to learn? Send me suggestions using the Contact form on the home page. Want to preview one of my videos? Here’s a link to the Wrist Escape technique:

The Great Flip Self Defense – Wrist Escape from The Great Flip on Vimeo.

All the videos are under three minutes. They are meant to be watched, learned, practiced and repeated until mastery. Just like in real jiu-jitsu live sparring, I teach while I demonstrate the technique while working with my training partner. You can do this in the comfort of your own home too! To learn more about what you will need to train at home click here to read about the simple set-up to train at home.

Subscribing to The Great Flip and learning self-defense with me is a wonderful gift for the girls in your life. Self-defense is a life skill necessary for every girl. So, grab a training buddy, a soft place to train and I’ll see you on the mat. Click on the “Two ways to Join” now to begin.

Do you know a home-school family, PE teacher, coach, youth group leader, scout leader looking for curriculum to use to teach self-defense? Pass this information along. See you on the mat!

Coach Jody